Alicia and I just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. Of those 12 years, we have been parents for 10 of them and are having a hoot raising our four kids. So in honor of these 10 years, I want to share some of the wisdom I have gained as a parent and a father (which doesn't really make sense because a father is a parent) and give you my top three parenting tips.
Tip#1: Potty training
This one I didn't learn until #2 came along. The trick here is to help the child learn that peeing in pants is bad...peeing in toilet is good. Here's how it works:
1. Child wets pants.
2. Take child outside.
3. Make child take off clothes.
4. Wet kid down with hose. Continue for several minutes and make sure you don't let child get away. Hold the kid if you have to while hosing.
NOTE: In winter is not humane to hose off children. In colder months, take the child to a sink or bathtub and use the cold water faucet.
Tip#2: Moving from crib to big kid bed
Typically, kids have a hard time staying in a bed without bars. I liken it to someone who has been incarcerated in our public corrections facilities and then let free. They go crazy not knowing what to do with the freedom. Kids get out of bed, walk around, turn on the light, play with toys, sit at the end of the hallway and watch you eerily...all easily correctable behaviors.
This fix is one of my favorites. To pull this one off you need a megaphone (with voice changer if possible). Here are the steps:
1. Kiss the kid(s) goodnight like a nice daddy.
2. Wait by the door with the bedroom light on and tell them to close their eyes and go to sleep.
3. Turn off the light and close the door as soon as their eyes are closed. Quickly duck so they can't see you and silently crawl to the side of the bed.
4. As soon as the kid starts talking or getting out of bed, jump up with the megaphone and yell commands (i.e. no talking, get back in bed, daddy loves you more than mommy, etc.) Activating the voice changer here makes for greater effect.
5. Watch your kid scream in horror and fear.
Soon your child will be begging you not to hide and all you have to do is respond, "Ok, but stay in your bed like a good little princess."
Tip#3: Coloring on our bodies with pen/marker
It's natural for children to watch mommy put on makeup and then want to do the same to themselves. Unfortunately, this natural instinct that children have must be broken like Rocky did to the Russian guy in Rocky III. Kids will use whatever they can find to use as their "makeup"...pen, marker, makeup, mud, whatever.
Do this:
1. Buy the nastiest smelling soap imaginable.
2. Wash kid's face with nasty soap and get lots of lather to remove marks.
3. Be sure to "accidentally" slip your nasty soapy finger in the kid's mouth.
4. Child may scream.
***Bonus points if you can get some soap in the eyes.
As you can see, these are not your typical parenting tips you'll find in the latest issue of Parent or Family magazine. However, all of these tips have been applied in my home and most importantly they work. I'm always interested to hear your parenting ideas. Feel free to share in the comments.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
I hate you, raisin
Grapes are good and juicy. Alicia is very particular about her grapes and will only eat the hard ones that are firm and ripe...the kind that burst when your molars break the skin and juicy grapey goodness flows in your mouth. I can appreciate that. I like grapes, too.
But there are always those grapes that somehow between the time you buy them at the store until you get them home and put them in your favorite bowl that lose their grip on life and fall off the vine. It's hard to say at what point they fall off the vine because clearly they were on the vine when you put the bunch of grapes in the plastic bag at the store, but somewhere along the way from the store to your fridge to your mouth, they fell off. And there is no telling exactly how long they've been off the vine except that they no longer retain their firm gushiness they once had and instead are soft and definitely have a noticably different, less pleasing taste...destined to remain in the bottom of the bag never to be eaten. I feel for these grapes. They were going to be joy and bring goodness to someone's mouth, but instead they are now shunned like the leper that they are.
The only thing worse that a grape could be besides being a shunned leper grape, is a nasty wrinkly raisin. Whoever had the idea that raisins are nature's candy was either really, really old (probably dead now) or was in the grape business looking to expand his market.
Take a look at raisin cookies. I hate raisin cookies. Why in the world would anyone want to ruin a perfectly good cookie with raisins? Add to that the raisins are completely deceitful and cannot be trusted in a cookie...you can't tell a raisin cookie from a chocolate chip cookie until you bite into it thinking you're getting sweet chocolate only to find yourself gagging on a raisin. Why would a raisin disguise itself like a chocolate chip if it didn't have to? But of course it has to. It has to deceive you into thinking you're getting something else.
Raisins are Satan's candy.
But there are always those grapes that somehow between the time you buy them at the store until you get them home and put them in your favorite bowl that lose their grip on life and fall off the vine. It's hard to say at what point they fall off the vine because clearly they were on the vine when you put the bunch of grapes in the plastic bag at the store, but somewhere along the way from the store to your fridge to your mouth, they fell off. And there is no telling exactly how long they've been off the vine except that they no longer retain their firm gushiness they once had and instead are soft and definitely have a noticably different, less pleasing taste...destined to remain in the bottom of the bag never to be eaten. I feel for these grapes. They were going to be joy and bring goodness to someone's mouth, but instead they are now shunned like the leper that they are.
The only thing worse that a grape could be besides being a shunned leper grape, is a nasty wrinkly raisin. Whoever had the idea that raisins are nature's candy was either really, really old (probably dead now) or was in the grape business looking to expand his market.
Take a look at raisin cookies. I hate raisin cookies. Why in the world would anyone want to ruin a perfectly good cookie with raisins? Add to that the raisins are completely deceitful and cannot be trusted in a cookie...you can't tell a raisin cookie from a chocolate chip cookie until you bite into it thinking you're getting sweet chocolate only to find yourself gagging on a raisin. Why would a raisin disguise itself like a chocolate chip if it didn't have to? But of course it has to. It has to deceive you into thinking you're getting something else.
Raisins are Satan's candy.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Living with a fantasy addiction
Every year for the last 13 years I have been involved with a fantasy football league that my friends and I started. At first, I did it just because all my buddies were doing it too...so it's a good thing it was just fantasy football and not crack. What I didn't know at the time is that fantasy football is crack.
For those not familiar with fantasy football it starts with a group of friends; each person drafts their favorite NFL players and each week receives points depending on how well those players performed. So really it's a numbers game of determining predictable performance based on past performance. I totally dig that kind of stuff.
Every year I pull out my calculator, make a bunch of spreadsheets, analyze player statistics, and prepare myself to draft the best possible team for the upcoming season. Then throughout the season, I continue to crunch numbers and analyze performances to determine what roster changes I need to make on my fantasy team. You always make sure that when a guy has a breakout performance and he's not on anyone's fantasy roster, you'd better snag him quickly for your team or else you'll be sorry when someone else does and he's smacking you in the face every week with his huge games and signing autographs after touchdowns with his sharpie. So I am ALWAYS checking up on games on Sundays and seeing who's doing well, where I need to make a change on my team, who's injured. Maybe other people don't get involved in it as much as I do, but I do. I really enjoy getting into it.
Now for the bad...NFL is a Sunday sport. To keep up on games and get the best shot at grabbing the breakout player, I have to be watching what's happening during the games on Sunday. I LOVE to watch football...seriously LOVE it. And when I'm watching the NFL and I'm watching how my fantasy players are doing, it's fantastic. But I've gotten a little older and I'm wondering if spending my Sundays watching football is the best use of my time every week.
Secondly, Monday morning is completely unproductive. I spend the first four hours of work checking all the web news I can find on what's happened the day before.
So last year I retired from fantasy football. I gave it up. I felt like Barry Sanders retiring before his time. But I needed to. I was addicted to it. I loved the watching, the cheering, the analyzing, the number crunching, and the spreadsheets. But I'm done. I've walked away.
This year I was asked if I would come back to play and it was like asking a guy who quit smoking if he wants to go around back and light up. The worst is when your pals get together and talk about the fantasy league. When that happens it's like taking a deep puff into your lungs of someone else's exhaled nicotine. It feels nice inside as it mixes with your blood stream and makes you want to go back. But I'm determined because I've realized...
My name is Brett, and I'm a fantasy football addict.
For those not familiar with fantasy football it starts with a group of friends; each person drafts their favorite NFL players and each week receives points depending on how well those players performed. So really it's a numbers game of determining predictable performance based on past performance. I totally dig that kind of stuff.
Every year I pull out my calculator, make a bunch of spreadsheets, analyze player statistics, and prepare myself to draft the best possible team for the upcoming season. Then throughout the season, I continue to crunch numbers and analyze performances to determine what roster changes I need to make on my fantasy team. You always make sure that when a guy has a breakout performance and he's not on anyone's fantasy roster, you'd better snag him quickly for your team or else you'll be sorry when someone else does and he's smacking you in the face every week with his huge games and signing autographs after touchdowns with his sharpie. So I am ALWAYS checking up on games on Sundays and seeing who's doing well, where I need to make a change on my team, who's injured. Maybe other people don't get involved in it as much as I do, but I do. I really enjoy getting into it.
Now for the bad...NFL is a Sunday sport. To keep up on games and get the best shot at grabbing the breakout player, I have to be watching what's happening during the games on Sunday. I LOVE to watch football...seriously LOVE it. And when I'm watching the NFL and I'm watching how my fantasy players are doing, it's fantastic. But I've gotten a little older and I'm wondering if spending my Sundays watching football is the best use of my time every week.
Secondly, Monday morning is completely unproductive. I spend the first four hours of work checking all the web news I can find on what's happened the day before.
So last year I retired from fantasy football. I gave it up. I felt like Barry Sanders retiring before his time. But I needed to. I was addicted to it. I loved the watching, the cheering, the analyzing, the number crunching, and the spreadsheets. But I'm done. I've walked away.
This year I was asked if I would come back to play and it was like asking a guy who quit smoking if he wants to go around back and light up. The worst is when your pals get together and talk about the fantasy league. When that happens it's like taking a deep puff into your lungs of someone else's exhaled nicotine. It feels nice inside as it mixes with your blood stream and makes you want to go back. But I'm determined because I've realized...
My name is Brett, and I'm a fantasy football addict.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Speak the English?
I tried updating some posts on my last trip, but blogspot kept coming up in non-English languages and since I only speak English (which is really a crutch since it is the #1 language in the world) and Slovene (which has never, ever, ever come in handy on any trip other than when I am in Slovenia) I had to wait until I returned home to put up a new post.
How to pick up on a taxi driver
Take for example, when I was in Vienna...Austria neighbors Slovenia and I don't know any German except the phrase "I don't know German" which comes in quite handy. So I was in the taxi and the driver didn't speak English (a common theme abroad). So he starts going down the list of languages he speaks which many I had no idea what language he was saying when he asked. After blowing threw his 8 or 10 languages he knew (oddly, English was not among them), I gave my list of two (Engish and Slovene). He paused and asked, "Slovene?" I responded, "Yes, Slovene." He shook his head and we continued in silence.
One time, however, the taxi guy in Vienna was Croat and I fumbled through my really bad Croatian with him which was mostly him bad mouthing American foreign policy. Good times.
For my trip to Israel I attempted to bone up on some Hebrew using language tapes. I got through several lessons and before long I was having fantastic virtual conversations with the speaker on the tape. It wasn't until I arrived in Israel that I realized how little I knew and when I started writing down everything I learned from the lessons, I came to the conclusion that the only thing the tapes taught me was how to pick up on women. "Would you like a drink? Would you like a drink with me? Where would you like to drink? Would you like some wine? Would you like to go to my place?" No kidding, that is what I learned! Consequently, the taxi drivers were not interested in my limited Hebrew vocab.
Are you speaking English?
My last international trip a couple weeks ago was to Singapore. Interesting thing about Singapore is that English is the official language and everyone speaks it, but I don't think anyone I encountered speaks English as a first language. There were several occasions I had to ask people to repeat themselves because I either couldn't follow their accent or the words they used were not words I was familiar with (what the heck is a quay and dungue?) And for a good laugh, I found this poster in a bathroom. I'm not sure I can explain it and do it justice...just let the poster do its own talking.
Notes about Singapore
It was recommended I take a visit to the island of Sentosa. So I left after work one night, took a cable car our to the island, and walked around a bit. There were two things I was told to do...do the luge and see the show. I found the luge ride, but before I tell you about my experience on the Sentosa luge, let me first explain that I am FREAKISHLY tall in Singapore (freakishly tall in all southeast Asia, actually). On the subway, it didn't matter how crowded it was, I could see above everyone's heads and see both ends of the train. So this luge ride is made for Asians, not freaskishly tall Americans.
To stop or slow down on the luge, you have to pull back on the handlebars. This is easy to do if your legs are Asian size, but my legs didn't quite fit under the handlebars so when I pulled back to slow down, they handlebars just hit my legs. So I barrelled down the hil
l full speed with no way to stop or slow down the whole time picking up speed and passing other lugers (plural for those who luge), and since I weigh twice as much as your typical Asian, my momentum whipped me faster than anyone else on the hill!
Eventually, I found I could spread my legs way out (imagine putting the soles of your feet together and then spreading your knees as far apart as possible...that was me in Dockers) making some room to pull back the handlebars just enough to slow down my bullet ride, but in so doing I looked like a complete baffoon...so much so that I had people I'd never met were laughing and taking pictures of me as I attempted to maintain control of my danger ride and keep from killing myself.
The next event was the night show..."Songs of the Sea." Somebody's posted it on YouTube if you want to see what it's like. What you can't really tell in the video is that the laser and video is projected on sprays of water. It's very impressive and worth the trip.
Singapore...go to Sentosa, take a walk on Clark Quay, and don't squat on the toilets.
How to pick up on a taxi driver
Take for example, when I was in Vienna...Austria neighbors Slovenia and I don't know any German except the phrase "I don't know German" which comes in quite handy. So I was in the taxi and the driver didn't speak English (a common theme abroad). So he starts going down the list of languages he speaks which many I had no idea what language he was saying when he asked. After blowing threw his 8 or 10 languages he knew (oddly, English was not among them), I gave my list of two (Engish and Slovene). He paused and asked, "Slovene?" I responded, "Yes, Slovene." He shook his head and we continued in silence.
One time, however, the taxi guy in Vienna was Croat and I fumbled through my really bad Croatian with him which was mostly him bad mouthing American foreign policy. Good times.
For my trip to Israel I attempted to bone up on some Hebrew using language tapes. I got through several lessons and before long I was having fantastic virtual conversations with the speaker on the tape. It wasn't until I arrived in Israel that I realized how little I knew and when I started writing down everything I learned from the lessons, I came to the conclusion that the only thing the tapes taught me was how to pick up on women. "Would you like a drink? Would you like a drink with me? Where would you like to drink? Would you like some wine? Would you like to go to my place?" No kidding, that is what I learned! Consequently, the taxi drivers were not interested in my limited Hebrew vocab.
Are you speaking English?
My last international trip a couple weeks ago was to Singapore. Interesting thing about Singapore is that English is the official language and everyone speaks it, but I don't think anyone I encountered speaks English as a first language. There were several occasions I had to ask people to repeat themselves because I either couldn't follow their accent or the words they used were not words I was familiar with (what the heck is a quay and dungue?) And for a good laugh, I found this poster in a bathroom. I'm not sure I can explain it and do it justice...just let the poster do its own talking.
Notes about Singapore
It was recommended I take a visit to the island of Sentosa. So I left after work one night, took a cable car our to the island, and walked around a bit. There were two things I was told to do...do the luge and see the show. I found the luge ride, but before I tell you about my experience on the Sentosa luge, let me first explain that I am FREAKISHLY tall in Singapore (freakishly tall in all southeast Asia, actually). On the subway, it didn't matter how crowded it was, I could see above everyone's heads and see both ends of the train. So this luge ride is made for Asians, not freaskishly tall Americans.To stop or slow down on the luge, you have to pull back on the handlebars. This is easy to do if your legs are Asian size, but my legs didn't quite fit under the handlebars so when I pulled back to slow down, they handlebars just hit my legs. So I barrelled down the hil
l full speed with no way to stop or slow down the whole time picking up speed and passing other lugers (plural for those who luge), and since I weigh twice as much as your typical Asian, my momentum whipped me faster than anyone else on the hill!Eventually, I found I could spread my legs way out (imagine putting the soles of your feet together and then spreading your knees as far apart as possible...that was me in Dockers) making some room to pull back the handlebars just enough to slow down my bullet ride, but in so doing I looked like a complete baffoon...so much so that I had people I'd never met were laughing and taking pictures of me as I attempted to maintain control of my danger ride and keep from killing myself.
The next event was the night show..."Songs of the Sea." Somebody's posted it on YouTube if you want to see what it's like. What you can't really tell in the video is that the laser and video is projected on sprays of water. It's very impressive and worth the trip.
Singapore...go to Sentosa, take a walk on Clark Quay, and don't squat on the toilets.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Domo origato mister roboto
Today I write from the hot and humid Tokyo airport as I await my flight to Singapore. Nearby is a young mother with what appears to be two young boys maybe two years old. The kids are two and are behaving just as a two year olds behave...see below:
I can't take you guys anywhere!" Poor kids are two years into life and have to deal with that? Come on!
I was a bit embarrassed to be witness to such a spectacle, but I'm tethered to my power cord as I write this, and the carpet where the kids are laying is right on top of my cord. Literally, right on top of my cord...like between my and the power outlet is my power cord and these kids are laying on it watching a movie on their mom's brand new portable dvd player.
So I'm not so sure how to play this...do I ever so nonchalantly slowly pull my cord and slide it towards me until it unplugs from the wall and then move away? I can be crafty and subtle in my approach...until the cord pops out of the wall and slaps one of the kids in the face. Ok, bad plan.
Next idea would be to ditch the cord and run...but I can't do that since I need the cord in Singapore...tempting as that idea is.
Currently, I'm just waiting it out. I'm pretty much all by myself in this corner of the airport (with the exception of the mom and her two kids) because everyone else that was sitting over here walked away when the mom started going rambo on the kids. So it's me against them...I'm not moving until they do. Or if my plane starts boarding. Then I'm out. Or if I get too hungry to wait to the point that my stomach starts growling something fierce. Then I'm out. That is my plan.
Ok, the kids are bored with the movie again and are finding things to keep them busy while mom is doing whatever she is doing in front of her computer. Wait for it...wait for it...here it comes..."IF YOU TWO DON'T SIT DOWN!!!..." Ah, the empty threat tactic. Oh wait, now it's "If you don't sit down we're going to go home." Hmmm, and waste the tickets? Oh man, now the kid is crying because the other kid hit him. Mom's not doing anything...just sitting at her computer.
I want to go home and love my kids. :-(
- limited attention span
- look for things to do when they are bored
- hit each other repeatedly
I was a bit embarrassed to be witness to such a spectacle, but I'm tethered to my power cord as I write this, and the carpet where the kids are laying is right on top of my cord. Literally, right on top of my cord...like between my and the power outlet is my power cord and these kids are laying on it watching a movie on their mom's brand new portable dvd player.
So I'm not so sure how to play this...do I ever so nonchalantly slowly pull my cord and slide it towards me until it unplugs from the wall and then move away? I can be crafty and subtle in my approach...until the cord pops out of the wall and slaps one of the kids in the face. Ok, bad plan.
Next idea would be to ditch the cord and run...but I can't do that since I need the cord in Singapore...tempting as that idea is.
Currently, I'm just waiting it out. I'm pretty much all by myself in this corner of the airport (with the exception of the mom and her two kids) because everyone else that was sitting over here walked away when the mom started going rambo on the kids. So it's me against them...I'm not moving until they do. Or if my plane starts boarding. Then I'm out. Or if I get too hungry to wait to the point that my stomach starts growling something fierce. Then I'm out. That is my plan.
Ok, the kids are bored with the movie again and are finding things to keep them busy while mom is doing whatever she is doing in front of her computer. Wait for it...wait for it...here it comes..."IF YOU TWO DON'T SIT DOWN!!!..." Ah, the empty threat tactic. Oh wait, now it's "If you don't sit down we're going to go home." Hmmm, and waste the tickets? Oh man, now the kid is crying because the other kid hit him. Mom's not doing anything...just sitting at her computer.
I want to go home and love my kids. :-(
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Hola de Espana
Greetings from Spain. I just arrived today in beautiful Sant Cugat, Spain. The trip was long and the sleeping in flight was minimal, but I made it. Of course, I was exhausted when I arrived and took an afternoon nap which is why I am wide awake and writing this at 2am.
The hotel is a little less than I expected. I would probably compare it to something a little less than a Motel 6. There is one English channel (CNN) on TV and the people I've run into so far speak little or no English...and since my two years of Spanish education in the Boise Public School system was not as life changing as I might have hoped (I think I pulled straight C's in the class), I've managed some communication with the locals.
My first issues was changing money at the hotel front desk to pay the taxi driver for my ride form the airport (~42 Euro). The front desk lady was a little surprised I wanted to pull some cash using my Amex. I finally got it communicated that using my Amex to get cash is my honest intention and she was able to score me some Euro, but not until she gave me a stern warning that not every hotel would do this. Maybe I'm just spoiled in the my international hotel visits thus far (Tel Aviv, Mexico City, and Vienna), but this is the first time anyone has ever had trouble giving me some local spending cash from my Amex. Sheesh!
My next issue was getting a power adapter. Again, this is something I've always picked up at the hotel with a refundable deposit. The lady at the front desk (not sure if it was the same one or not because I attempted this transaction via phone from my room) could not understand the term "power adapter" and since 11the and 12th grade Spanish didn't teach me that (or maybe I just forgot) and powero adaptero didn't work and she put me on hold, then I was disconnected. I bagged it and found a way to make it work with what I had in my bag.
Third issue is internet connectivity. Kind of a biggie for me so I can check my work email and not get too far behind on stuff. I used the network cable that was in my room, followed the instructions to connect and kept getting 404 on all my attempts to connect to the web. Did some of my own troubleshooting and decided it's not me it's them. I called the support # listed and received a response, "I can only hear my own voice when I speak. Hallo? Goodbye. Click." This happened twice. I gave up and tried an hour later. This time the guy went through all the same stuff I had tried and then referred me to the front desk because the problem was "clearly" an issue with the room and not their internet connection. I didn't buy it.
I ended up checking to see if there is any wi-fi around and picked up a fairly strong signal.. I connected and found that I had to login and pay (all instructions are in Spanish). I managed to kind of fumble my way through it (too bad I couldn't connect to Babelfish!) and then got a part where it wanted a credit card...but no Amex! Aarrgh!
I called the front desk and the guy told me to come get a wireless card. I told him I don't need a wireless card...and he said I did. No, I don't. Yes, you do. I went down and got the wireless card.
Turns out is wasn't a wireless card at all but rather a very nice paper card that I had to pay 12 Euro for. I took it back to my room, tried logging on, came to a part in the login where I could enter a PIN and proceeded to enter the pin number on the card (which was an unually long number for a pin). My pin was rejected about 12 times until I eventually gave up and called the wi-fi support number, chose the option for English and then had some automated reponse tell me something in Spanish before disconnecting me. This happened 3 times mostly because I was trying to figure out what the message was trying to tell me. The fourth time I called I chose the Spanish option, talked to a nice lady who spoke a little English. She helped me learn that I am special. I needed to tear the perforation and open the card to see the correct PIN inside. That fixed it and ouila (or however you say that in Spanish) I am on the www.
So far the most polite person in my hotel experience has been the wi-fi help desk and the room service ordering person. Both of them were great. Everyone else...FAIL.
Today's been so much fun I can't wait until tomorrow.
The hotel is a little less than I expected. I would probably compare it to something a little less than a Motel 6. There is one English channel (CNN) on TV and the people I've run into so far speak little or no English...and since my two years of Spanish education in the Boise Public School system was not as life changing as I might have hoped (I think I pulled straight C's in the class), I've managed some communication with the locals.
My first issues was changing money at the hotel front desk to pay the taxi driver for my ride form the airport (~42 Euro). The front desk lady was a little surprised I wanted to pull some cash using my Amex. I finally got it communicated that using my Amex to get cash is my honest intention and she was able to score me some Euro, but not until she gave me a stern warning that not every hotel would do this. Maybe I'm just spoiled in the my international hotel visits thus far (Tel Aviv, Mexico City, and Vienna), but this is the first time anyone has ever had trouble giving me some local spending cash from my Amex. Sheesh!
My next issue was getting a power adapter. Again, this is something I've always picked up at the hotel with a refundable deposit. The lady at the front desk (not sure if it was the same one or not because I attempted this transaction via phone from my room) could not understand the term "power adapter" and since 11the and 12th grade Spanish didn't teach me that (or maybe I just forgot) and powero adaptero didn't work and she put me on hold, then I was disconnected. I bagged it and found a way to make it work with what I had in my bag.
Third issue is internet connectivity. Kind of a biggie for me so I can check my work email and not get too far behind on stuff. I used the network cable that was in my room, followed the instructions to connect and kept getting 404 on all my attempts to connect to the web. Did some of my own troubleshooting and decided it's not me it's them. I called the support # listed and received a response, "I can only hear my own voice when I speak. Hallo? Goodbye. Click." This happened twice. I gave up and tried an hour later. This time the guy went through all the same stuff I had tried and then referred me to the front desk because the problem was "clearly" an issue with the room and not their internet connection. I didn't buy it.
I ended up checking to see if there is any wi-fi around and picked up a fairly strong signal.. I connected and found that I had to login and pay (all instructions are in Spanish). I managed to kind of fumble my way through it (too bad I couldn't connect to Babelfish!) and then got a part where it wanted a credit card...but no Amex! Aarrgh!
I called the front desk and the guy told me to come get a wireless card. I told him I don't need a wireless card...and he said I did. No, I don't. Yes, you do. I went down and got the wireless card.
Turns out is wasn't a wireless card at all but rather a very nice paper card that I had to pay 12 Euro for. I took it back to my room, tried logging on, came to a part in the login where I could enter a PIN and proceeded to enter the pin number on the card (which was an unually long number for a pin). My pin was rejected about 12 times until I eventually gave up and called the wi-fi support number, chose the option for English and then had some automated reponse tell me something in Spanish before disconnecting me. This happened 3 times mostly because I was trying to figure out what the message was trying to tell me. The fourth time I called I chose the Spanish option, talked to a nice lady who spoke a little English. She helped me learn that I am special. I needed to tear the perforation and open the card to see the correct PIN inside. That fixed it and ouila (or however you say that in Spanish) I am on the www.
So far the most polite person in my hotel experience has been the wi-fi help desk and the room service ordering person. Both of them were great. Everyone else...FAIL.
Today's been so much fun I can't wait until tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Greetings from Jerusalem
I had a very nice opportunity to visit Jerusalem while I have been here in Israel. This is a picture of me hanging out on Mount Scopus overlooking Old Jersusalem.
It doesn't look like much from this picture, but it is rich in history and conflict. Luckily I was able to visit the city just a few days before President Bush arrived. The need for his security has shut the town down.
Our tour guide was a 72-year old guy that was extremely knowledgeable in Biblical history and city sights. If you get a chance to go to Israel, definitely take a tour from a guide. It is more than worth the money.
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